Holy Fork Balls Apparently Taylor Swift Really Was Hiding In A Suitcase


Approximately 1.5 years ago there was a rumor that was so crazy that it couldn’t be true. Like, it just couldn’t be true because it was so crazy. That rumor was that Taylor Swift was being carried around in a suitcase to avoid being seen by paparazzi.

At that time I, a serious investigative journalist, did a serious journalistic investigation into whether or not the rumor was true. And while there was strong evidence that it was in fact not just a rumor, but FACT…

…such as one of her security guards carefully towing this big ol’ suitcase out of her apartment…

I still could not declare a definitive answer. I mean, as much as I wanted to believe it, it just didn’t seem real. I didn’t feel lucky enough to have such amazing celebrity news bestowed on me. But that was until now. Because lordt almighty Zayn Malik has just cracked this (suit)case wide open!!!!!!!!
In an interview with Vogue at one point in the conversation Zayn randomly says this:

Which means that as the best friend’s boyfriend, Zayn would most definitely have intel on this. Which means that I must take what he says as gospel and that it is true, TAYLOR REALLY WAS IN A SUITCASE.

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